


a lullaby for his cats

by thegreatmoon



Series: ⭒ requests ⭒ [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Canon Compliant, Character Analysis, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-23
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:15:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,124
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24656686
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatmoon/pseuds/thegreatmoon
Summary: “we can’t have a cat, taelie. we already have you, you’re my favorite kitty. why would we get another?”
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Moon Taeil, Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Moon Taeil, Kim Jungwoo/Moon Taeil, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Moon Taeil, Lee Taeyong/Moon Taeil, Mark Lee/Moon Taeil, Moon Taeil/Everyone, Moon Taeil/Nakamoto Yuta, Moon Taeil/Suh Youngho | Johnny
Series: ⭒ requests ⭒ [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1804114
Comments: 13
Kudos: 92





	a lullaby for his cats

**Author's Note:**

  * For [kurafloro](https://archiveofourown.org/users/kurafloro/gifts).



> hello ~ this was a request ! 127 x taeil, hurt/comfort and this mess was born ! this is something different than i usually write, but i love trying the new and writing taeil being Loved. I only hope i did,,,, a passable job
> 
> there is a [playlist for this!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5wc0zYMT2MPN5ULVMfstvO?si=XYROGkG1TGqUF82BHbQoGQ) please listen in order, can really help set a mood

Taeil wanted a kitty. He’d whine with Haechan, bicker with Jungwoo, mumble under his breath how the rest of the group were tasteless dog lovers — even if he’d smile wholeheartedly the next second. Fact was, he really wanted a kitten and, believe me, all his 127 members knew that _very_ well.

Mark usually said Taeil liked having his way on issues he firmly believed in and that wasn’t any less true on the feline matters. Taeil would pout, randomly mention wanting a kitty on the most unusual occasions and tell stories of how he had dreamed of raising the pet when little. Taeyong had offered himself to meow for Taeil and Doyoung reminded him that soon he’d be able to move out and get as many cats as he wanted. Johnny even dressed himself as an enormous cat, hoping to at least get a pet from Taeil. Yet nothing convinced their hyung. 

Even if not having his wishes met, their mathyung was never ever grumpy or mean. Sometimes the members would catch him watching cat videos with a sad smile, but, probably tired of arguing, he’d lock his phone and speak to them as if there was nothing distressing him. However, his blue mood still affected the rest of the household, who was used to their hyung’s brightful yellow personality. 

The first ones to go to Taeil’s aid were the maknaes, the ones who circled around the moon naturally as if moved by the power of gravity. Haechan, always eager to please his favorite hyung, cuddled him, casually pressing his hands on Taeil’s belly. “We can’t have a cat, Taelie,” he said playfully onto his ear. “We already have you, you’re my favorite kitty. Why would we get another?” 

Taeil meowed adorably and chuckled in embarrassment the next second. Haechan felt his stomach warming and squeezed his belly with more intensity. It was Hyuck’s little stress ball and he was free to use it. 

“But Taelie isn’t our cat! Hahah! He’s our catnip!” Mark interjected, making Haechan roll his eyes. “It’s true! The fans say that we react to Taelie like cats to catnip.”

Mark pinched Taeil’s cheek and laid back on the sofa, right on Jungwoo’s arms. 

“Maybe that’s why you don’t need a kitten, hyung!” Jungwoo said with a child-like smile. “You already have the nine, I mean, eight of us on your trail… we would be jealous of a new kitten to share our precious hyung with.”

Mark’s laugh hurt Taeil’s ear. “Wasn’t Johnny-hyung the one who said he wanted five Taeils because hyung was so popular, he wanted one Taeil for himself?!” 

Haechan hugged Taeil tighter against his chest. Always so possessive. Taeil caressed the hands over his belly and Haechan seemed to considerably relax under his touch. The four were chilling while listening to music. Taeil intertwined his legs with Jungwoo and Mark was taking a nap. It was comfortable and Haechanie let him choose some songs for their playlist. Taeil loved easy and chill living and being with Jungwoo, Mark and Haechan was exactly that. He didn’t have to try hard to please them and be engulfed by their arms and adoration. Their interactions didn’t ask Taeil to be the most talkative of the bunch or to be always paying attention, they welcomed him as he was. Enjoying their presence while only listening to music and having the pleasure of physical touch… Those were the times when he loved his boyfriends the most.

Yuta came to the living room, saying they better sleep, they’d have a schedule in the morning, and each boyfriend went to their specific room after kisses were exchanged and saying goodnight. Taeil had to be carried by Haechan and Yuta to his bed and he made some grabby hands for Haechan to stay with him but that only got him to be tucked under his covers.

“Haechanie always gets me what I want, Haechanie will get me a kitten,” he said with a pout. Haechan rolled his eyes and planted a kiss on his forehead before leaving his _very_ spoiled boyfriend in his bedroom.

Yuta turned off the lights and it didn’t take long for Taeil to sleep soundly. The kitty issue was dropped completely for a week or so, they were too busy with promotions and Taeil would rather sleep than argue with his friends and boyfriends.

It was only when, searching randomly through YouTube, Taeil saw a video of cats reacting to catnip. He was instantly reminded of what Mark had said about fans comparing him to that cat weed and giggled. Taeil rarely ever checked online feeds, not because he ran away from hate comments or liked to be mysterious, he simply didn’t enjoy any sort of online network besides the usual texting. He knew his younger members liked to be online a lot and sometimes worried about how that affected their mindset but saw good things could come out of it as well, especially fan-love. Fans had their own slangs, jokes and conversations regarding their group and Taeil was always amazed by it whenever he did mention parties or quickly searched online. They knew he liked cats and often replied to him with cat pictures. Taeil was weak, if he could he’d answer to all those cute kitties. He was very interested in this catnip comparison their czennies did and opened the Wikipedia page on the issue.

Taeil scrolled through it half mindedly. He had a funny feeling on his belly. It was endearing that the fans said he was some sort of non-addictive cat drug that caused various effects on different cats. It amused him even more that they thought Taeil had that effect on his bandmates, therefore if following that line of thought, each member of 127 was a different cat.

Taeyong was a black cat. He had a very strong first impression on people, that could scare at first sight, especially his big, bright eyes. That would make him the perfect personification of a black cat with blue orbs. One that didn’t easily trust people, walking around with his tail high, but the few people he trusted he did it wholeheartedly.

Black cats were known for being the companions of witches, having a night soul and were often the most judged and misunderstood of cats. All Taeyong wanted was to be with someone, platonically or romantically, cherishing their moments together and offering each other advice. Their leader yearned for companionship, often whining about how lonely it was to have a bedroom all to himself, and the few friendships he kept he took it to his heart. Taeil watched Taeyong deal with the rumors and his dark past hunting him while doing his best for his teammates, but sometimes it took a toll on him. He’d go to Doyoung for advice but when he needed a more exhilarating comfort, he’d go to Taeil.

They’d hit some convenience stores at night — sometimes together, sometimes Taeil went alone after Taeyong begged him in pout — and buy the weirdest, most different cheap food there was. It was a hundred percent unhealthy and there were times one of them felt sick from eating something very disgusting or that they were apparently allergic to, but it was always fun. Taeyong shared his problems while Frank Ocean played in the background and Taeil tasted a new flavor of lamen, nodding his head, asking if Taeyong wanted to speak some more, before offering him a sympathetic smile. He wasn’t the best at giving advice, that was what Doyoung was for, but his help wasn’t any less important and that was proven by how much Taeyong would go for what Taeil could see as an “exhilarating comfort”. They’d sometimes ignore Taeyong’s problem entirely and instead converse about music or their expectations for the future. Taeyong confessed he envied Taeil’s laid back vibe and how he was often treated as the group’s maknae. 

“Ah, I don’t know, Yongie… I… Sometimes I think I’m lacking in… in most things I guess,” he‘d say, in the rare nights he was the one who shared instead of Taeyong. He tried not using Taeyong as his support too much, not because he didn’t trust his leader, but because Yong already had too much in his mind and didn’t need Taeil’s problems in the pile. Taeil would remain a comfort zone for Taeyong for as long as he could be.

One time, one time only, Taeil crossed over that thin line between being a safe haven and something more. Taeyong was especially distressed, the group still hadn’t managed to snatch its first win and he doubted himself for failing his 127 bandmates. Taeil caressed his thigh casually and Taeyong turned to him with trembling lips and doe eyes. Before Taeil had even realized, they were making out, their Brazilian junk food forgotten on the table as Taeyong pressed Taeil against the couch. Taeil kissed him back even if not as wholeheartedly as he wished. He wasn’t attracted to Taeyong that way, but he couldn’t deny Yong was gorgeous, a sharp beauty that turned soft the more a person knew him, and his avid, quick kisses felt good against Taeil’s lips. They made out for some time, Taeyong taking the lead and squeezing Taeil’s waist. Yong moaned prettily, perhaps his meows would sound even better. Taeil caressed his hair as he’d do to his black cat, with a soft reassurance.

When it was over, Taeyong sat on the sofa, shocked by what they had been doing for almost an hour. Taeil followed him and grabbed a packet of chips, eating a few and offering Taeyong some. The black kitten accepted it with hesitancy. In a few minutes, they were already bickering about who would be the next artist on their playlist. Taeyong could have many problems in his life but Taeil wouldn’t let himself be one of them.

During concerts, Taeil liked to tease him a bit, sometimes flirting with him on stage and dancing along. Whenever they had a tour at Japan, it was as if they got thousand times bolder on stage, sometimes even flirting during choreographies. Taeil had a wild guess that it was because Japanese convenience stores were so interesting and they went out every night looking for a new one to taste weirder junk food. While in line to pay for the food, Taeyong naturally took a blood orange lollipop from Taeil’s lips and brought it to his own lips. Taeil would try to get the lollipop back, failing miserably every time.

Reading the list of catnip effects, he couldn’t find one named “exhilarating comfort” but the weed did give some cats an energy boost side effect while others were especially cuddly. Taeil imagined his witchy black cat simply combined both side effects and that was how their relationship came to be.

Johnny, on the other hand, was a big, fat, loud cat that would splatter his immense amount of fur around the entire house, marking it with his presence. He surely loved marking Taeil along with his other belongings. He had a smushed face and black and white spots across his fur, lavishing himself while being petted and giving cuddles to the ones he adored the most. Fat cats were usually called lazy and that wasn’t any different with Johnny. Even if he worked out often and had various hobbies, he still very much enjoyed his free time to do nothing and relish the vibe. It was very important for him to take a pause in the moment and simply appreciate being there.

He was also a very spoiled cat. He liked having his fur constantly matted and fangs cut off. Selfcare was everything for this big fat kitty, big body matching the size of his heart and that’s why he bought tons of moisturizer and spent too much money on a good pair of sneakers. Taeil smiled and gestured to him coolly while praising “Johnny’s swag”, making the other laugh lovingly.

When under the effect of catnip, Johnny became especially cuddly, squeezing his hyung’s belly and talking with him with lots of aegyo. It was natural for Johnny to simply reach for Taeil’s arms, holding him the closest possible till even the smallest of microorganisms were squeezed and begging for air. Hugging Taeil was healing in the most delicate of ways, a simple movement that turned his heart from hard stone to velvet. Whenever Johnny embraced the object of his undivided affection, it was as if time froze. He closed his eyes, brought Taeil’s body closer to him and appreciated his peaceful warmth. Sometimes Taeil would squirm or escape his grasp, but Johnny tried to regain him with grabby hands and whining cutely. Taeil complied for a little longer before escaping Johnny’s arms for the rest of the day.

Catnip surely turned Johnny into a lovely sweet cat. He showered Taeil with all sorts of compliments, that escaped his lips with not much thought to them. He listed Taeil’s endless qualities, from his very powerful voice, range and technique, to his adorable cuteness while doing absolutely anything. He also laughed the loudest, along with Mark, whenever Taeil said anything particularly funny, which always happened. “It wouldn’t be funny if anyone else had said it, hyung!” he managed to announce between laughs. Taeil smiled and nodded, trying to hide his blush. He could never react properly to what Johnny said, no matter how much he tried. One day he saw Johnny smiling very dearly to him while complimenting the way Taeil lived his life very carefreely and loving every moment. In that moment, Taeil realized he didn’t have to react to the compliments Johnny so easily shot at him, the furry kitty was happy to praise Taeil for the simple pleasure of doing it. He truly believed every word he was saying and he wanted to speak them out loud.

Johnny certainly would meow a lot if was he was cat. He spoke his mind, often kindly, but always American. It amused Taeil to watch Johnny speak nonchalantly of matters more serious than his tone would lead others to believe and the more conservative members — Doyoung and Yuta — were scandalized and shocked by his ways. Johnny was also terribly American when forgetting to treat his hyung more respectfully. He sometimes shoved Taeil to his seat, interrupted him without a second thought and did so very naturally. Taeil wasn’t one to remind his dongsaengs of manners, he liked it when treated as an equal but sometimes Johnny still managed to baffle him. In the rare times Taeil yelled at someone in the dorm, they were always with Johnny. However, even if shouting, there was still a grin to Taeil’s lips.

Another side of that kitten’s nationality was how sometimes he was too aggressive showing his physical love, either squeezing Taeil’s belly too tightly or grabbing his arm strongly. It’d hurt Taeil from time to time and he’d let out a grunt. Johnny would drop him immediately and look at Taeil in shame. Taeil felt his heart softening: the kitten forgot his size, he had only meant well. Johnny was enthusiastic about everything he loved in life: photography, music, radio and so on. Taeil was only lucky he was one of the things Johnny was so passionate about.

“Youngho-ah, why do you… Hm… why only hug me?” Taeil asked out of the blue one day, trapped by Johnny’s arms. He wasn’t complaining, his tone expressed pure genuine curiosity.

Johnny paused for a moment and a smile spread across his face. “Once you have a taste of one of the best, everything else becomes boring, hyung.”

He brought Taeil closer to himself and closed his eyes peacefully. Taeil chuckled. Johnny complimented him so naturally, it was impossible for him to answer Taeil’s question without some flattery. Taeil molded himself against the fat kitten’s belly. He too closed his eyes peacefully, listening to Johnny purr and not minding how he’d smell of him come morning.

There was a time, when Taeil was still trying to fully understand Johnny, that he had mistaken Johnny’s affection for romantic love. He had been wearied of Johnny’s touches and his praise and didn’t have in his heart feelings that could match Johnny’s. He confessed that to Jaehyun one day, while the two were randomly chattering nonsense. Jaehyun had snickered at Taeil’s concern. “’Hyung, I wasn’t supposed to tell you this but Johnny and I… Uh… We sorta – We have a fling or whatever,” Taeil’s eyes widened in shock but before he could open his mouth, Jaehyun continued. “It – It really doesn’t matter, and I trust you not to share this around. God knows what Haechan would do with this information or — God forbid — Mark, he’d spill it out the moment a manager asked if there was something wrong,” Jaehyun sighed. It wasn’t often he spoke so bluntly of matter of the heart, so Taeil let him speak for as much as he needed. “Anyways, the point is, even with this — I hate this word, but in the lack of a better one — fling between us, I’m not jealous of hyung. Because Youngho, he loves you in the purest way someone can love. He just, he just really admires hyung and, yeah, he just wants you to accept his love the best you can.”

Taeil went to sleep that night with those words roaming around his brain. The next day he was decided on following Jaehyun’s advice and settle on Johnny’s open arms contently. If Johnny noticed a change, he didn’t say a word on the matter. He just accepted whatever love Taeil had to give him and hugged him tightly against his chest.

Johnny taught Taeil that it was okay to accept love with an open heart. Slowly Taeil didn’t blush anymore at being so adored by someone and only smiled, sometimes even chuckling. He admired how outspoken Johnny was on his opinions, definitely the sort of kitten that would meow by the locked door until it was opened by his owners. He was also the sort of fat kitten that would eat the biggest amount of catnip possible until his owners told him no. In the end, big, fat, smushed faced kitten Johnny loved his catnip and wasn’t afraid of meowing for it.

The third kitty wasn’t as loud even though he had other marking traits. His fur was very similar to one of a jaguar, but he was considerably slimmer and his face was more triangular. His tail was stripped and he showed his colors proudly. Yuta was never scared of who he was, even if that self-love could very well scare others. He had agility even superior to most cats, being compared to more feral feline brothers such as tigers and lions. His perceptiveness was also one of a kind. Yuta was always observing and taking mental notes of whatever interested his mind. 

Taeil had read there were cats that simply didn’t react to catnip. They were the minority, but still existed, giving their back while the other kittens enjoyed the weed happily. Perhaps Yuta was one of those. Even after years living together, he never had reached Taeil for a hug or physical companionship. Whenever Taeil praised him, Yuta would shrug and move on. While others were laughing at Taeil’s jokes, Yuta had his mind elsewhere.

The catnip didn’t take it personally. He already had too many cats to take care of and Yuta followed his own vibe, the same way Taeil did. Maybe because they were so alike, they weren’t startled by one another. Yuta was a good faithful company to keep as a roommate. Taeil was messy, Yuta was messy, in the end one couldn’t blame the other for the room being absolute chaos. They didn’t pay attention to clothes splattered around the closet or boxes opened on the floor. What was of the most importance for both was to keep a good respectful relationship. There would be days in which they barely talked, even sharing beds so close to each other, but that didn’t mean they didn’t communicate. They had their own language of signs, looks and stares, translated only by them and through it they’d know when one would shower, if it was okay to turn off the lights and when the other needed quiet.

Sometimes Taeil thought he was the last of the jaguar kitty’s options. Yuta would purr with Mark and Taeyong, play around with Jungwoo and Johnny, tease Doyoung and vibe with Haechan and Jaehyun. Taeil was left with that quiet tired kitty who would go to their shared bedroom to read and sleep only. However, one day Mark confided in him a secret. Apparently, Yuta didn’t so easily allow himself to be quiet among the other members.

“He’s a lot like you, hyung, haha. He really appreciates this... hmmmm… quiet and easy vibe, you could say? But for him it’s not as easy to achieve as it’s to you, haha, so he only gets to be silent with a few people. You’re one of those, for what he tells me!” Mark told him one day as they were going out to meet Yuta for ice cream. Taeil felt his belly warming. They were alike in more ways than Taeil could see.

Jaguars were very quick paced and active, Yuta enjoyed jumping around and letting out loud screeches. His perceptiveness on life allowed him to be very honest and he was as sharp as knife. But sometimes all a kitty wants is to turn off his instincts, lay down next to some milk and turn off the lights to sleep. Taeil was happy he offered Yuta such comfort that it could so easily be mistaken for indifference when it in reality came from cherishing his presence so much that it comforted the kitten. 

Yuta surely was a wild cat, He let himself wander free but he was always alert to his surroundings, wide eyes darting around rapidly through the room, and always responsive whenever needed. Even if averted to catnip, he still let Taeil tame him. In the end, he became a soft sleepy kitty who needed a good night’s sleep.

The fourth kitten wasn’t wild. He was spoiled, matted and tidy to the extreme. Doyoung walked around the house with meticulous steps, careful not to leave his fur around and overly stressed by the other kittens’ playful ways. He was a Siamese cat, very slim and with a face that could have him described as “grumpy cat” in one of those viral cat memes around the internet. Doyoung was a very orderly cat and so, it made his hair stand on end whenever something would disturb his routine or when someone defied his orders. 

For that exact reason, the young kitties loved teasing the Siamese cat, rarely following his commands, mocking his requests and laughing at his face. Doyoung huffed in pure distress and looked for the help of his mathyung to put some order in the house. Taeil failed the roles of a good hyung in his eyes. He was too lenient, didn’t reinforce his position and didn’t set any rules in the house. Doyoung sometimes even pitied him.

However, there were other times, when Doyoung was particularly stressed at the maknaes’ mischiefs that he’d nonchalantly shoot harsh words at the hyung and how little respect he inspired on the younglings. He too disregarded Taeil’s position as hyung. There was a clash of life-styles between the two. Doyoung thought control and order important and couldn’t possibly understand Taeil’s take on life.

Even if so different, Taeil had read that most cats fell for the powers of catnip and with Doyoung it wasn’t any different. Although Doyoung imposed a stronger personality, good at suggesting solutions and giving advice, the younger members still would naturally look for their mathyung when facing a problem. Taeil didn’t offer the same as Doyoung, but the members still cuddled around him and shared their problems while Taeil nodded. Sometimes he doubted Taeil even listened to it word for word and, when questioned about it Taeil admitted Doyoung was right on his hunch.

“Isn’t it good to… hm… just offer a comfort? No words necessary?” Taeil asked with genuine curiosity. He enjoyed when the members gravitated around him, especially the younger ones, and wanted to offer them the same safety he got from their interactions. Doyoung’s open scrutiny sometimes made him doubt himself and Taeil felt like he was instead fooling the youngers on a deal in which only himself received love, care and attention.

The question filled Doyoung with doubts. He continued observing the kittens in the group purring, cuddling and playing around with their hyung. They looked very happy and Doyoung could even see hints of a different sort of love growing inside their hearts. He hoped Taeil was ready to face those emerging feelings when it was time. Without him noticing, Doyoung was too falling for the charms of Taeil. He didn’t look for him as much as the other members, but instead he listened to what he had to say without scoffing anymore and saw in him a different sort of older brother. Taeil wasn’t a leader, he was a center: a center of warm love, cuddles and soft words that everyone needed to recharge before going back to the harsh realities of life. 

Doyoung, who was baffled by Taeil’s lenient personality at first, felt guilty of abusing it and sharing his misjudgments for everyone who’d listen. The members said he should be kinder to his hyung and that Taeil never spoke one bad word about Doyoung behind his back but Doyoung rolled his eyes.

Yet there he was, looking for his hyung for the first time to share how sorry he was for his childish behavior. Taeil only shrugged and said there was nothing to forgive. Doyoung nodded and was about to leave the room in embarrassment when Taeil asked him to stay a little longer, he wanted to discuss vocal technique and how was the process of recording their new track going.

As they talked, Doyoung meaninglessly laid down next to Taeil on the bed. Taeil kept blabbering about feeling like his technique wasn’t good enough. Doyoung offered some words of encouragement and advised him to talk about that to their vocal coach while embracing Taeil’s belly. Johnny and Haechan were right, it was a big stress ball. Taeil didn’t seem to mind, he even molded himself according to Doyoung’s touch. He had tamed the grumpy Siamese kitten.

If he could classify Doyoung’s reaction to catnip, it’d be aggressive love. Some kittens loved catnip but couldn’t react well to it at first, becoming very aggressive without having meant to. They showed their fangs before licking the catnip and enjoying its effects. However, they still ingested catnip nonetheless and that tamed them. Doyoung seemed much more relaxed as he took a nap with Taeil on the bed. Their relationship became much closer after that day and they always looked for each other when in need to rant about the struggles of being a singer.

If there were stressed kittens in the house, it was bound to have chill kittens as well and no one fit that description better than Jung Jaehyun. At first sight he would be mistaken for a ma’am’s kitten, a ragamuffin of sorts, with light brown fur and a glorious tail that served as duster wherever he walked through. Looks could often mislead and that was the case for Jaehyun. He wasn’t some spoiled kitten that would never take no for an answer. The furry ragamuffin strived for a good atmosphere, to create the perfect vibe in his environment and all his actions were towards this only goal.

Jaehyun did many things to ensure his goal was met: he bought scented candles, did perfectly timed playlists in which a person could only listen in order and even played piano before bed for his roommate Jungwoo. Sometimes it was borderline obsessive how much he wanted to keep a peaceful outside to match with his inside, but things were made much easier by his mathyung.

Taeil wasn’t one to put an effort for such things, but his natural talents helped a lot. His jokes lightened the mood very easily and they shared the same sense of humor. It was often that Taeil and Jaehyun were laughing at the same silly thing, falling on top of one another before regaining their breaths. His presence was comforting and it made it even easier for Jaehyun to simply close his eyes and reach his hand for his hyung. Having always strived for a relaxed environment, Jaehyun didn’t particularly enjoy sharing the burdens in his life. He’d rather ignore them, let them vanish before they were even mentioned. He also linked that to being raised as a boy… He was never taught to talk about his own feelings and certain things an old kitten can’t learn, no matter how much the owner tried teaching.

Yet, somehow, he managed to trust Taeil so effortlessly that sometimes his hyung found small cracks in the internal barrier and those cracks enlarged through time. Much work was needed and it was a slow process. Jaehyun would complain a little of matters that were messing his head and Taeil nodded, offering a shoulder to cry on. Most of the times Jaehyun shook his head and thanked him, but, in the rare times he took Taeil up on that offer and some tears streamed down his cheeks, he felt the barrier tumbling down.

During those conversations never did his hyung frown, pick on his own lip or performed any action that could pass as judging to Jaehyun. He accepted the ragamuffin wholeheartedly, no morals attached to it. Jaehyun hadn’t noticed how important that was to him before. Whenever he ranted, people seemed to be bothered by his thoughts, showing some disagreement or just resentment. Jaehyun thought that if his most deep feelings were to be received that way, it was better not to share them at all. He spent most of his life keeping friendships that circled only around the objective of maintaining a laid-back vibe.

When he first approached Taeil, he had expected him to be just the same. Another friend to calm him on the outside and perhaps help him appease his mind. However, a cat could never know what effect catnip would have before ever tasting of it. Jaehyun was indeed relaxed by Taeil’s presence, however in a very different way than he had first expected. He allowed Taeil to reach the depths of his soul without even noticing and, in return, Taeil allowed Jaehyun to voice thoughts too long entrapped in his mind. Being with Taeil was freeing in the best of ways.

There were times however that he felt himself weakened by his loose-mouth. Before knowing Taeil he was of the conception that not talking was the best solution for imaginary problems that popped in his head. If he didn’t materialize it to the world through his words, it wasn’t real. When his make-out sessions with Johnny first started, he didn’t want to talk about Johnny never sleeping over on his bed or only ever approaching him after he had a glass or two of wine. It shouldn’t mean much, the two were only kissing, sometimes doing a little more in the heat of the moment, but it wasn’t like Jae would ever date a boy, imagine even Johnny. They just kept it hidden from the world and even from themselves.

Sleepy Taeil didn’t notice a thing. Doyoung sometimes let his eyes linger on Johnny and Jaehyun’s interactions a little longer, Taeyong dragged Johnny to the side for a serious conversation and even Mark looked at the two with suspicion. Taeil had his head in the clouds and, even not noticing any of the signs, he was the first member to be notified on what was happening. Jaehyun had let the secret out in what he had intended to be a selfless act so Taeil would understand what sort of love Johnny had for him, but in the end he did it for pure egotistical reasons. He wanted to take the lump from his throat, address the issue and the imaginary problems in his head.

Once he had put it out there, Johnny was all Jaehyun could talk about when he was with Taeil. He’d spend entire conversations dwelling on how Johnny warmed his bed but left a cold wind whenever Jaehyun woke up and he wasn’t there anymore. Tears escaped his eyes when he confessed he sometimes felt like Johnny was running away from his touch and avoided him in casual conversations among members. Jaehyun’s voice failed when he ranted in an almost delirious state that he didn’t know if it was possible to like one that was the same as him and that he didn’t want to talk about that but at the same time that was all he could think about. Long gone were the relaxing vibes he shared during his times with Taeil. He had chosen his hyung to pour his feelings onto. Taeil didn’t have any experience on what Jaehyun was feeling, — for what Jae could tell he hadn’t had a relationship in years and it was with a girl — he didn’t offer any great advices and those conversations didn’t bring the peace of mind Jaehyun looked for. Taeil _heard_ him, wiped his tears, combed his fingers through Jaehyun’s hair, offered to cook for him. He did so for a long time with no complaints, even if somehow Donghyuck would shoot jealous eyes for Taeil spending the entire night at Jaehyun’s _again_ and Johnny whined that he couldn’t hug his “Taeilddy Bear” anymore.

One day, when Jaehyun’s eternal headache seemed to give him a day break and he woke up to Taeil bringing him a bottle of coke, Jaehyun held his hand.

“What can I do to thank you, hyung?”

Taeil sat on the bed, scratching his head. “’You… you should talk to Johnny, Jaehyunie.”

Instantly, a spell was unmade. His hyung didn’t make him safe anymore. Taeil was throwing him on the pit with the lions. Jaehyun dropped his hand and turned around, so upset he couldn’t even look at his hyung anymore. He heard Taeil sighing and suddenly there were no more sounds in his room. Jaehyun was alone.

Taeil wasn’t one to insist on decisions about other people’s lives but, when he left Jaehyun noticed he had hoped his hyung insisted a little. The next day he talked to Johnny, who was completely shocked by Jaehyun addressing him for the first time in months. He sat down and listened to Jaehyun summarize everything he had first told Taeil. Repeating those known words to Johnny, Jaehyun noticed how he could better phrase them and how he had a better understanding what certain actions made him feel. Jaehyun had read about it somewhere, in a book Yuta had recommended him on Freudian psychoanalysis. Formulating a thought into words allowed your brain to translate unexplainable feelings into concrete fears, wishes, worries. He continued listing his pains to Johnny and how his actions had hurt him and, in the end, words that not even Taeil had heard escaped from his lips.

“What is worst, laughable even, I think you only caused me this much pain, hurt me till I reached this state, because I am — against all odds — fucking in love with you.”

Jaehyun had been standing when he said it out loud but he needed to sit down and fully comprehend what he had just said. He looked for Johnny’s eyes, ready to face whatever consequence that came from that conversation and run for Taeil’s arms the second it was over. Instead Johnny’s arms were the ones that embraced him and Jaehyun couldn’t speak a word more, his lips busy with something else.

As Taeil had been the first to know of the grey area Jaehyun and Johnny had first gotten stuck in, Jaehyun made sure he would be the first to know of their blooming relationship. Again, the kitten couldn’t stop meowing about Johnny, but this time he didn’t look afflicted and simply rested his head on Taeil’s lap to be petted while he explained the miscommunications that had led him to that state. He sat up to look at Taeil.

“How can I possibly thank you, hyung?”

Taeil shrugged. There was nothing he wanted from Jaehyun, only for him to regain his lost inner peace.

The ragamuffin wasn’t the only one that became relaxed due to catnip. Jungwoo was like a soft elegant Siberian cat with long white whiskers and eyes as caramel as his fur. He stood straight and tall, a posture that would make the most diligent of ballerinas jealous, and yet inside him there was a carefree soul absolutely addicted to catnip. It drove him to a playful state elevated from the other kitties. All Jungwoo wanted was to play with his hyung.

Taeil, who also liked to fool around, didn’t find it hard to match Jungwoo, entering his silly discussions that always ended with the kitten trying to steal a kiss so he’d win, casual bickering and random outbursts of laughter that left the two breathless. Jungwoo treated Taeil as his little playball, moving it around as he wished, sometimes scratching it and throwing it away, only to run after it to curl up around him. He always returned to Taeil, no matter how much he tried playing hard to get and his hyung liked the warm feeling he had on his belly by knowing Jungwoo would always be there.

He tried always being there for Jungwoo. When the kitten cried, he’d usually go for Doyoung, but sometimes Doyoung wasn’t there and he was content sharing his feelings with Taeil, who offered him physical support. On the night of Regular’s Music Bank win, Jungwoo had felt himself especially lacking. He had just joined the group and hadn’t participated in all the hardwork they had for three years and yet he got to receive that prize. At the same time he wanted to flatter himself and think that it was meaningful the group had so many wins just after he arrived, his brain was telling him he was worthless of that celebration. On the live they did right after, tears left his eyes as he couldn’t talk anymore. Taeil’s hand was on his crotch, pulling him towards comfort and reassurance, before scratching his back. He didn’t let go of Jungwoo that night and the kitten was so thankful. It was as if his love for his hyung had doubled the size.

To show Taeil his feelings Jungwoo decided to quarrel with him some more, poking at his tummy on every chance he got and sometimes entering in small cooking competitions in which Mark was the judge. It was a tough match and most of the time the winner was the one Mark felt favorable regardless of how cooked was the meat. After, they’d exchange cooking tips and Jungwoo managed to feed Taeil with his own hands, for pure scientific purposes of knowing how good was his food. Taeil ate well, but he was also messy and Jungwoo couldn’t help cleaning his cheeks with a napkin or brushing his wet thumb on the corner of Taeil’s mouth.

On those moments, the silver lining between platonic and romantic became evident. Taeil dropped his fork and stared at Jungwoo with wide eyes, who was still very slowly cleaning hyung’s lip corners. He only noticed what he was doing moments later but didn’t seem ashamed of it.

“Now hyung is clean, Illie should thank me for taking care of the baby,” he teased, face terribly close to Taeil.

If there was one man that could fluster Taeil, that man was Kim Jungwoo. He didn’t have any restraints; his actions came to him naturally. There was no wall of blockade between his feelings and his behavior, he was inevitably truthful in every conduct he had, which made it much scarier to Taeil. He liked playing with the kitten, Jungwoo was a constant in his life, his best friend in the group, however he grew tense in those occasions. Even so, their moods almost never clashed and they always knew each other’s limits whenever playing.

From day to night, they weren’t as playful anymore. Taeil caught Jungwoo intensely staring at him and sighing, making his heart throb instantly as he tried averting his eyes. Jungwoo teased Taeil any moment he had, but not in the good-natured fashion of before. Taeil saw some darkness in the caramel kitten’s eyes as he moved his white whiskers while taunting his hyung to show how good he was at giving massages and if it was true what Taeyong had said about the taste of his lips. Taeil tried his best to divert the matter, feeling a blush on his cheeks and sometimes even failing to find an answer to Jungwoo’s questions, which led to the younger claiming victory with a smile. He continued stealing kissed but sometimes Taeil didn’t know if he had meant to kiss his cheeks or he had turned fast enough for him to miss his mouth. Jungwoo seemed happy with the result, but his eyes still lingered on Taeil’s lips.

The scariest part was that Taeil seemed to be enjoying it. Even if sometimes he was reluctant to Jungwoo’s affection and was constantly flustered by him, the days he didn’t try getting a kiss or didn’t tease him felt empty and Taeil was anxious for the times Jungwoo would indulge him with his attention. One day, Jungwoo simply stopped coming to Taeil. He had found comfort in Doyoung and Jaehyun instead, and Taeil felt lost. Had he been reading the signs wrong? Why was he so upset a kitten was playing with other kittens when it was only part of their nature?

Taeil wasn’t one to expect people to come to him or be anxious if they didn’t. It was important to respect people’s personal velocity, he never took it personal. With Jungwoo it looked personal. He’d snicker when passing by Taeil while accompanied by either Doyoung or Jaehyun, made sure to laugh the loudest and sometimes ignored Taeil completely when he tried joining them, It was always about playing a game when it came to Kim Jungwoo but Taeil wasn’t sure he knew the rules and what was expected of him. He felt impotent, having his own source of fun turned against him. Jungwoo was missed and it hurt deep inside.

“Did-Did I do something wrong, Zeus?” Taeil asked the first time they found themselves alone in their room. The caramel kitten would always leave when Yuta left and never followed Taeil when he asked him out on a stroll. That day, something must have been different, for Jungwoo stayed, playing some dumb videogame on his phone. When Taeil first spoke he didn’t give him his full attention but, after some seconds, he locked his phone and looked at Taeil for the first time.

“Do you _think_ you did something wrong?” he asked back, raising one eyebrow.

Taeil was going insane, he wanted his old friend back and the only way he could was to put himself on the line. He’d make himself vulnerable for Jungwoo. “I—I really don’t know… I feel like you’re avoiding me and I don’t know what I did but I miss my friend and I want him back…”

Jungwoo had been listening attentively before sitting down on Taeil’s bed. Taeil felt as if his personal space had been attacked and crawled the farthest away from his friend. “Do you really miss me if you run away from me, Taeil-ah?” A faint smile appeared on his lips. “I think you don’t understand what you want, silly Illie.”

“I-I really don’t,” he confessed in his cracking voice.

“I’ll help you, hyung. When I kiss you do you secretly wish it was on your mouth? When I touch you do you feel warmer than you should? Do you miss me flustering you, teasing you nonstop?” he spoke, voice flourishing with desire and trying to establish eye contact with Taeil, who felt himself growing smaller. “If… you say yes to any of those… Maybe you should think if you miss me only as a friend.”

Taeil was unresponsive. He bit his bottom lip nervously and curled up around himself on his side of the bed. Jungwoo sighed and got up. Before leaving the room, he stopped himself.

“Answering your first question, hyung… I think your only wrongdoing was not noticing I’m in love with you… But maybe I asked too much of you.”

Taeil finally understood what Jaehyun meant when talking about Johnny leaving his bed. Jungwoo left a cold breeze in the room.

It was only warm again on his birthday. He asked Taeil, along with Jaehyun and Doyoung, to be part of his birthday live. Taeil sat on the couch’s edge but Jungwoo still sat next to him, hand constantly on his crotch and trying to steal kisses from him. They had naturally returned to the old routine Taeil had missed it. However, with a click the live was over and so was Jungwoo’s clinginess.

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable, hyung, only wanted to be indulged on my birthday—”

Taeil didn’t let him finish. He kissed Jungwoo and heard Doyoung loudly gasping as Jaehyun chuckled. Jungwoo kissed him back, making good use of their height difference by grabbing Taeil’s hips and lifting him for a few seconds. He let his lips go with a loud smack.

“Best birthday gift ever!” Jungwoo announced, stealing another kiss from Taeil’s lips.

That night Yuta excused himself from their joint room and the two talked for hours, mostly about everything they had missed from each other’s lives. Near the end, when Taeil was almost dozing off, Jungwoo asked what that kiss had meant.

“Is this a… one-time situation?”

Taeil frowned, his eyes had almost closed but that question had alerted him. “No, of course not, Woo… I’m in love with you too and… I-I thought that meant we were boyfriends?”

Jungwoo couldn’t let him sleep anymore. All the kitten wanted to know of was playing. He kissed Taeil till morning came, ignoring when he complained his whiskers scratched his face and that he should be careful with his fangs. He was blissful and wanted to make up for the sorrowful time he was away from his precious hyung.

The younger the kitty the more excited they were. That rule was true when it came to Mark Lee, a small yellow-orange kitten with so much fur it was almost as if he had a small-sized mane. Hear the mighty lion cub roar! Mark certainly was loud. Taeil, who most of the times spoke on the volume of a murmur, had his ears constantly attacked by loud roars and meows that came from the excited kitty.

Catnip only enticed the kitten more. He became jumpy, moving from bed to nightstand, clapping his hands and sometimes even attacking Taeil with hugs and pinching his cheeks. Mark wasn’t normally this affectionate with people, but Taeil had this catnip aura in him that attracted Mark. Taeil was affectionate back, playing with his ears, often trying to kiss his cheeks and being overall touchy.

The lion-kitty was the most excited when the matter was music. Taeil had taught him how to play guitar when he was younger, to which Mark was very grateful. Someday he wanted to be as good in the piano as Taeil was, but enjoyed simply admiring his hyung showing off his talents. Even if Taeil treated him as a same-age friend and he truly felt there was no gap between them, he still admired his hyung so much and thus couldn’t help but shoot him googly eyes and go to him whenever he felt bored.

He even started hanging out with Taeil when he was with Jungwoo and a blossoming friendship started between the trio. Jungwoo and Taeil tried kissing Mark’s cheeks, but he always dodged. They’d have fun cooking, but whenever things became too intimate, Mark slipped from the kitchen. It became worse as Jungwoo and Taeil started dating. The kitty blushed and hid his eyes behind his paws whenever they kissed, sometimes even stuttering a few moments later.

“H-hyung, why do you have to do that—” he whined to Jungwoo, who was the culprit most of the times since he initiated the kiss.

“Taeil wanted a kiss, what’s the problem, Markie? Want a kiss too?”

Mark’s ears became as red as tomatoes and he avoided the eyes of them both. Truth was… they had become very intimate lately. He had seen Jungwoo at his worst, shared his philosophies on life with Taeil, cuddled while sandwiched between them so many times. Their clinginess had become comforting and sometimes Mark didn’t run away, instead giving up to their charms. It was only after he had stared at them kissing for longer than he should that Mark finally noticed what was happening.

His overthinking brain wouldn’t let him sleep soundly after. Not only was he in love with one of his bandmates, but two at that. His panic mode told him to flee the country, perhaps they’d take him back in Canada. He tried keeping Canada, oh sweet Canada on his mind as Jungwoo and Taeil became even bolder in his presence. After they had drunk some beers Mark couldn’t help but notice how high were Jungwoo’s hands on Taeil’s crotch and how their hyung seemed more zoned out than he should be. He couldn’t avert his eyes when they made out, a trail of slick connecting their mouths when they had to pause to breathe. Mark wished he could be in the middle of the two, even knowing it was a sick thought. The two were happily dating and were made for each other, Mark was being an intruder no matter how much he tried convincing himself otherwise—

“You know that we have an… open relationship, right?”

Mark blinked, trying to understand exactly what Taeil had just told him. His hyung still had swollen wet lips from his latest make out session with Jungwoo.

“W-what does that mean?”

“It means we can sleep with other people… But also date, depending on the person… It’s confusing, there are many rules so we don’t fuck up communication but it fits us.”

Mark was still trying to catch up with those words. “A-and have you done that? Sleep with other people?”

Taeil answered him nonchalantly, “Yeah, Jungwoo slept with Doyoung a few times. I’m more laid back but I’ve had my share of fun.”

The kitten felt something build inside him. His strong roar left his lips in a cracked muffle, “H-how about date? Have you?”

Taeil shook his head. “Not yet… I guess we were only waiting for the right person.” He pressed his palm on Mark’s legs, who jerked his hips up in excitement.

He leaned over Mark, slowly approaching his lips. Mark, being the jumpy eager kitty he was, hopped to attack Taeil’s lips passionately. He didn’t understand what was happening but he had wanted to taste his hyung’s lips for too long to take it slow. Jungwoo joined them in the room and when Mark detached his lips from Taeil’s, a thin line of split still connecting them, his eyes found Jungwoo’s and they kissed, slowly this time.

Mark had been giggly the rest of the night. Jungwoo and Taeil had spoiled him because it must have been hard dealing with his internal conflict on his own and so they pampered him with kisses, love bites and sweet nothings, making the kitty squirm and meow. They fell asleep together, Mark in the middle. Taeil was the first to doze off and he couldn’t stop thinking how lucky he was to have two boyfriends he loved so much.

Some kitties knew how to share, others didn’t. Haechan was a big fat grey cat with eyes as yellow as the sun. He was especially mischievous with the older kittens, always ready to annoy and argue with them: driving them mad was his favorite hobby. Taeil would have liked to say catnip tamed Haechanie, but that would be lying. Sure, Haechan wasn’t as mischievous with him, only playing some light pranks and always apologizing with cuddles after. He remained a little devil to all others, especially Doyoung and Mark who cursed at him constantly. The kitty snickered deviously and swayed his tail high.

The catnip’s effect was to turn Haechan into the most possessive of kitties. No one could play with his Illie-hyung more than he did, Illie shouldn’t give them more attention! His possessive behavior was shown through more than just words. He engulfed Taeil in his arms for his own pleasure, not letting anyone take his little stress ball away from him. Haechan whined when he had his head on Taeil’s shoulder and someone else dared laying on his other shoulder. The young kitty pouted whenever Taeil said no to his wishes. Haechan wanted to spoil his Taelie, carry him around like a little stress ball and put him to sleep when he felt tired.

The grey kitty didn’t have a clear memory of when he started loving Taeil, but he was already very grateful for him when they were promoting their first full album. He’d use any opportunity to say how thankful he was for having Taeil in his life and didn’t miss a chance to hug him tightly. Then his leg started hurting. Taeil would come to him, check if everything was alright, even passing lotion on it to relax his muscles. The pain wouldn’t go away, but Haechan wanted to keep pushing. He had to give it his best, the group was finally reaching the fame it deserved. Taeil pressed a hand on his knee before Haechan could hop from the bed to get ready for a schedule.

“Haechanie… don’t push yourself past the limit of return.”

Tears instantly filled Haechan’s eyes.Taeil’s words were the last thing he had wanted to hear. “I gotta do it, hyung, the group needs me—”

Taeil interrupted him softly. “The group needs you to be healthy,” Haechan brushed him away and was about to get up when he felt a strong sting on his leg. Taeil was there to give him support. _“I need_ you to be healthy,” he murmured close to his ear. “ _Please_.”

Haechan scheduled a doctor the next day. He was to have a surgery and take a break for a few months.

“Hyung, I’m scared,” he said to Taeil on the phone late at night. “What if… What if it doesn’t work?”

“Haechanie…” Taeil sounded sleepy. Haechan was sure he had woken him up with the call but his hyung had lied, saying he was already awake. “If it doesn’t work, we will still be here. You’ll still perform. We will find a way around this.”

“But if I can’t dance—”

“You can’t think about this now, Haechanie. Worry about it happening but not the consequences of it.”

Haechan took a deep breath. “Will hyung sing me a lullaby? I miss your voice…”

Taeil looked up on his phone for the lyrics of a song to cheer Haechanie up. The brightness of the screen made him squint his eyes but he pulled through and quickly found what he was looking for. He left his room, bare feet touching the cold floor, so he wouldn’t wake Yuta and Jungwoo up. He sang an acapella version of Ben by Michael Jackson, knowing he was Haechan’s favorite artist and that the lyrics were of friendship and support. He heard Haechan sniffing on the background, but ignored it to focus on the lyrics. When Taeil had finished, the other end of the line was mute.

“Haechanie?” he asked unsurely.

“T-thanks, hyung,” was the nasal response. “I love you.”

And then the line was definitely mute.

As Taeil had predicted, the surgery went well. Now all Haechan needed was some rest at his mother’s house. Even far away, Taeil texted Haechan everyday and called him once every three days or so. It was as if they had grown closer with the distance and Taeil sometimes even had facetime calls with Haechan and his mother. He liked saying Haechan’s mother gave him great advice.

What had been healing suddenly became a necessity. Haechan yearned for Taeil’s daily messages. If he went by a day without Taeil’s text, his heart started aching and he spent the entire day in the worst mood. His mother commented on it but Haechan huffed and sent her away. He tried staying away from his phone, since obsessively checking messages with no notifications whatsoever would lead him nowhere. He swore under his breath he would make Taeil wait for his message the same time he had made Haechan wait and let his phone on the bed, while going to the living room watch a movie with his sister.

When, hours later, he returned to his bedroom and saw the notifications, he only looked for the one who had his name saved as “ _Love_ ♡”, exactly that, on his phone. There were a few, most of them saying sorry and how he had sworn he had texted him that day. Haechan ignored him and instead browsed through Youtube, till “ _Love_ ♡” sent him another message, this time a link, with a message “was watching this and thought of haechanie^^^^”.

Haechan was a very determined when upset and for that reason he clicked on the link immediately. It was someone covering “Ben” on a random reality show for singers. He texted Taeil back the same instant and the two spent the entire night awake talking about their days. The next morning, Haechan’s mother had declared him to look as blissful as the belle of the ball, casually humming songs around the house, helping her with the cooking and cleaning. He surely had slept better the night before, that must have been the reason.

His mother didn’t say a word and weeks went by like that. Haechan had healed and was ready to return to the dorm to at least be part of the Japanese comeback. While he was packing, his mom came inside the room and sat on his bed.

“Hyuck-ah, come here,” she called him. Normally he’d ask her to wait, he was busy, but her tone was serious so he complied. “I think… you should look more deeply into yourself and your feelings. Your leg is better but I’m worried you might break your heart if you come back as blind as you are…”

“Omma, why are you talking weird?”

“I think Hyuck-ah likes his hyung more than you might know…” she confessed, worriedly.

Haechan shook his head, denied it completely, saying his mom didn’t understand they were best friends and that was why they were close. That night, he couldn’t sleep. Taeil texted him and, for the first time, Haechan willingly ignored him. He went to his mother’s room in tears, confused of what to do next.

A few days later, Haechan had fully packed and had his mother’s advice with him to approach Taeil and finally confess. Taeil was his friend enough that if the feeling wasn’t mutual, he’d still keep their bond. He walked to the dorm, not carrying any bags since he couldn’t carry much weight, and ran straight to his hyung’s room, even if running in his state was ill-advised. He opened the door without knocking, ready to sing-song his entrance when he saw Taeil holding hands with Jungwoo while kissing Mark. Then Taeil kissed Jungwoo. Haechan took a step back and ended up stumbling on Yuta, who wanted to enter his room. He tried greeting Haechan and welcoming him back, but Haechan ran towards the bathroom, trying to hide his tears.

The grey kitten locked himself in there, trying to cry quietly as he heard his hyungs gathering in front of the door and discussing what they should do. Then he heard a knock.

“Haechanie?” It was Taeil’s voice, muffled by the door. “Are you okay? We miss you so much… Can you come out so we can see you?”

Haechan felt pathetic. A kitty hiding from his owners. He cleaned his tears and went to greet the members, explaining he had felt sick and ran to the bathroom. He wasn’t sure all his members believed him, but they nodded along, offering him water and asking if he wanted to sit. Haechan purposefully avoided Taeil that day.

That strategy seemed to have worked for that day and so he applied to every day following that. He didn’t feel the urge to cry anymore, but his throat clenched with the mere sight of affection between the lovebird trio. He changed Taeil’s contact name to “ _That Guy_ ” and spent most of his free time gaming, away from everything and everyone. He had called his mom but she had few words of advice he could listen to at the moment, so he locked himself in his room and listened to “The Benefits of Heartbreak” by Epik High, trying to find some reason for him in the lyrics.

As he had been the one selected to knock on Haechan’s bathroom door, Taeil most probably had been the one chosen by the group to check on him again. Haechan didn’t want to talk and usually Taeil would let it go, but he looked over the edge and wouldn’t leave until he had answers. Haechan tried pushing him away, the little kitten had claws too and he made sure to use them well. He didn’t feel guilty at Taeil’s hurt expression, it wasn’t nearly as painful as the heartbreak Haechan was going through.

“Haechanie… I don’t know why you say those hurtful words when I’ve missed you every day since you were gone—”

Tired of spilling poisonous words in the hopes of Taeil giving hope on that conversation, Haechan finally let his guard down. “I like you!” he yelled, not caring even if half of the dorm would listen. “I don’t know for how long or since when, but I like you and it just fucking hurts seeing you with other people when I wanted to be the one next to you so will you _please_ let me ignore you in peace?!”

“ _No_ , Haechanie, I won’t let you ignore me, because I like you too!”

At that moment, Haechan could only see Taeil’s lips. He didn’t care if they were yelling at him or if he had just watched them kissing Mark and Jungwoo’s lips on that same day, he jumped at him, stranding his hyung on the bed, crashing their mouths passionately. Taeil kissed him back and it was as if, at that moment, he had never suffered any heart break.

After Taeil managed to pull Haechan from his face, even while the younger whined and said words ruined that perfect moment, the two sat down to have an honest conversation. Taeil explained to the jealous kitten that he had an open relationship and that he could date Haechan, Mark and Jungwoo had allowed him to, but warned Haechan should be careful not to be overly jealous of them. The grey kitten nodded, yellow eyes shining. He said it’d take some time, but he didn’t mind sharing Taeil with them if that meant he’d get Taeil in that equation.

It indeed took some time for the grey kitten to adjust. Haechan was stubborn and especially liked annoying Mark, so the two would argue often and Taeil would calm one while Jungwoo calmed the other. However, as months went by, Haechan understood that Taeil loved the three of them just as intensely and sometimes he even favored Haechan since he was the youngest and only had Taeil as his emotional support. It was hard and he’d often drop to his insecure self, but day by day it became easier until it wasn’t easy nor hard anymore. Naturally he fit in that relationship, sometimes stealing kisses from Jungwoo and taking it easy on annoying Mark, but always with his hands wrapped around his favorite hyung’s belly.

Don’t go thinking catnip changed effect to this grey mischievous kitten over time. He was definitely still possessive with others, glaring at Doyoung with his yellow eyes when he stole his boyfriend for too long and even threatening to set fire to Johnny’s precious plushie collection if he got too handsy with _his_ “Taeilddy Bear”. Most of the times, his member would try to take it playfully, ignoring Haechan’s obvious glare and pout. Taeil kissed that pout away, calling Haechan back so he could settle in his arms. There was no place in the world like Haechan’s arms.

Any more kittens in Taeil’s life would be too much for him to handle. Besides, they’d be held to high standards. Which kitty could be as playful as Jungwoo, as clingy as Johnny, as relaxing as Jaehyun, all at the same time? Such kitten couldn’t possibly exist and it would be overshadowed by all the other cats Taeil had to attend to. It was better if things stayed as they were, Taeil with his three wonderful boyfriends and four friends, having fun, sharing each day together and confiding in one another. Some bounds were stronger than others, but they all held a very deep meaning for Taeil. Normally people would describe people as different colors, but Taeil knew his teammates better. They were all his loyal cats. Even if they claimed to be dog lovers, Taeil knew their true nature. Each cat had a different reaction to catnip and different takes on life, but somehow they all ended under the same owner, Taeil in the middle. He was truly thankful for being so lucky to have found the most wonderful of kittens on the same space and time. They’d dote on him, ask for his advice, trust him blindly, laugh without any jokes being said, stay nights awake talking about absolute nonsense. One would think, after so much time together, Taeil would have acquired an allergy of sorts or an extreme aversion to cats, but that couldn’t be any less true. He loved his dongsaengs and when they asked, with their big round eyes, if their hyung could sing them a lullaby before his sleep, he tried saying no, but couldn’t possibly argue against then. With an awkward smile and shy from all eyes being on him, he softly sang any song they requested, a sweet lullaby for his cats. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> if you wanna check all the moments i make reference to, they are in this thread:  
> [here](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94/status/1291088470723657728?s=21)
> 
> i write taeil pairing fics and hyuckil text aus ~~ check informations for requests on my carrd  
> [twt](https://twitter.com/thegreatmoon94)  
> [cc](https://curiouscat.me/thegreatmoon94)  
> [carrd](https://gardenofwords.carrd.co/)  
>    
> xx  
> sol


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